Littles jokes

This video is fabulous , congratulations Daniel .



Adu 1010 - Adrian

Thank you all. I hope my translation was accurate...
I'll try and post more...

But tomorrow !!!

The last video is priceless!

Hello everybody!

Quote :

Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes said Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that The lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Some ------- has stolen our tent."

Have a nice day!
Kisses!

Very good joke ROXX.

Thank you.Robs!

Good joke Sarah
Well,this is mine:

Quote :

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.

"Al, what do you believe in?"

Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFC's and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."

God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?"

Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."

God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."

God then address Bill Gates. "Bill Gates, what do you believe?"

Bill Gates replies, "I believe you're in my chair."

Have a nice evening! Kisses

Very good jokes Roxana and Sarah , congratulations for this jokes .


Adu 1010 - Adrian

Hi, all! I have missed you
This is a little joke

Quote :

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

Have a nice day !

A joke.yeap..

Quote :

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.

But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"

"You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."

.
Have a nice day!

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly “T-G-I-F” another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, “S-H-I-T.”

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, “T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?”

The man answered, “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

=)) so funny isn't it?

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said “Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes… Bear, you go first.” The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said “I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female.” For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that. It was the bear’s second turn for a wish. “Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well.” Rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle. For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, “I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female.” The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said “I wish that the bear was gay…”

Quote :

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

Enjoy

Quote :

Woman - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.Woman
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.

Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.

Hehehehe... That's priceless Roxana... Thanks...

It's all TRUE !!!


Now, do you have an Man's Chemical analysis ???

Yes , very well and true .
Congratulations Roxana !!


Adu 1010 - Adrian

Ok.thanks So,for the men it could be more difficult but I will try

I LOVE VERY MUCH THIS CHILD!I WOULD WANT A CHILD LIKE THIS!

Quote :

Man: A Chemical Analysis
Element: Man Symbol: Ah (short for Asshole)
Element: Man

Symbol: Ah (short for Asshole)

Quantitative: Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.

Discoverer: Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs)

Occurrence: Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.

Physical properties:

a) Surface often covered with hair bristly in some areas, soft in others.

b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated like a God.

c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).

d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.

e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore... zzzzz).

f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.

g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.

h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.

i) Ore damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo common ore.

j) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.

Chemical properties:

a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.

b) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions.

c) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.

d) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.

e) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects which tend to turn the specimen bright red.

f) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.

g) When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.

h) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.

i) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.

j) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.

Storage:

a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.

b) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...

c) Can be used in recreational activities.

Tests:

a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.

Caution:

Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very malleable under correct conditions.

Ehhhh,what do you think?

"Asshole" element ???

Seriously now... ??? !!! Well, not all of us, but I admit... many of us...


This one I liked the most:

Quote :

Can be used in recreational activities.

Hehehehe... that's so true... But he must me used by an Woman... Otherwise... No effect !!!


Great job.... and yes, I know that video, very nice indeed...

How about this one: