EnPrizee

After Prizee removed the English forum there was only one way - to create a new one.
 
EnglishRomanianHomePortalCalendarFAQSearchRegisterLog in

Share
 

 Littles jokes

Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 6, 7, 8 ... 11, 12, 13  Next
AuthorMessage
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Fri 22 Jan 2010, 17:26

Of course, not all are like this cheers, otherwise I think life is a horror movie affraid Smile as is true for women...depends on education Wink. Not always needs a woman,I suppose...
lol!
Interesting video! lol!
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Fri 22 Jan 2010, 19:33

Quote :
More Marriage Advice

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
2. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
3. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
4. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
8. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
9. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
10. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
11. A woman has the last word in any argument.
12. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
13. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
lol!
And...
Quote :
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.
Cool
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Fri 22 Jan 2010, 19:54

Hehehehe...

Arrive naked ... with beer to impress a Man.... Very Happy

That's so true... If only more Women know that... Men would get impressed a lot more... Shocked Razz
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Fri 22 Jan 2010, 20:11

Well,dependes,man is neither very impressed.. Twisted Evil ,that's why I like Cardiology Laughing lol!
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sat 23 Jan 2010, 13:10

For today :
Quote :
Why Men Are Happier

Men can play with toys all their life.

Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.

Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.

Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.

Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.

Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.

Chocolate is just another snack.

The whole garage belongs to them.

Weddings take care of themselves.

Men's last name never changes.

Everything on a man's face stays its original color.

Men only have to shave their faces and necks.

Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.

Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

For men, wrinkles add character.

Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.

Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.

Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.

Men have one mood all the time.

A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks

Men can open all their own jars.
It's true? lol! it meens that I was stuck on these topics...but for me it's pretty fun fight that gender especially, because I constantly confronted with this fact and that I don't mind me lol!
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sun 24 Jan 2010, 11:58

Those are true facts... Smile

It is to understand that being a Man is better... Yes ??? rabbit
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sun 24 Jan 2010, 14:07

There are advantages and disadvantages,but I would to be man at least once a month Wink lol!
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sun 24 Jan 2010, 21:55

For today:
Quote :
Make women happy - Demerit Point System explained

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed ....................+1

* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0

* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1

* You leave the toilet seat up.............-5

* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0

* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1

* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2

* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5

* in the snow...............+8

* but return with beer..........-5

* and no liners....................-25

* You check out a suspicious noise at night....... 0

* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0

* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5

* You pummel it with a six iron...........+10

* It's her cat.........................-40

AT A PARTY
* You stay by her side the entire party...... 0

* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy...-2


* Named Tiffany.............-4

* Tiffany is a dancer...........-6

* With breast implants..............-18

HER BIRTHDAY
* You take her out to dinner................ 0

* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1

* Okay, it is a sports bar..........-2

* And it's all-you-can-eat night....-3

* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team......-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
* Go with a pal.........................+5

* The pal is happily married............+4

* Or frighteningly single...............-7

* And he drives a Ferrari...............-10

* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
* You take her to a movie...............+2

* You take her to a movie she likes.....+4

* You take her to a movie you hate......+6

* You take her to a movie you like......-2

* It's called Death Cop 3...............-3

* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9

* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable pot belly.............-15

* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...............................+10

* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30

* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800

THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
* She asks, "Do I look fat?"

* You hesitate in responding.....-10

* You reply, "Where?"............-35

* Any other response.............-20

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:

* You listen, displaying a concerned expression...... 0

* You listen, for over 30 minutes....................+5

* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..................................+100

* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep....-200
tongue Very Happy
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sun 24 Jan 2010, 23:43

So that's a total of:

+ 153 points

and

- 1290 points



That's a lot just to please an woman...
For a man... ah, just appear naked and with beer and it's +50.000 points !!! cheers Razz
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:14

Quote :
A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one." The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me and boats make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I can't do it. Imagine all the work involved. All the piling to hold up the highway needed and all the pavement. Ask for something else." "Well," the man said. "I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with. Basically, what makes them tick." The genie considered this for a couple of minutes and said, "So, do you want that road two lanes or four?"
A little smile Smile
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Thu 18 Feb 2010, 20:26

Hehehehe... that's true... Women is a mystery for a man... Very Happy
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sat 20 Feb 2010, 22:13

Quote :
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Laughing Cool
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sun 21 Feb 2010, 00:16

Thank you for being with us Roxana. As a, sort of reward, I have entered you in the Advanced Players team. So, welcome, and thank you for staying with us. cheers

P.S. Great joke... Smile Very Happy
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sun 21 Feb 2010, 14:37

I thank you very much .I'm honored by this Smile ...you all make part of my life and I'm glad because here I've met people with open minds and souls!!!
Thank you all!!! Very Happy cheers
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Wed 24 Feb 2010, 20:53

A little smile for today:
Quote :
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God...

"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a 'man', Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He'll also need your advice to think properly. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well... He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
Laughing Very Happy
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Thu 25 Feb 2010, 12:43

So... the Woman did come before the Man... Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Then how come Men rule almost everything ???
Indeed nobody knows who rules from the shadow of a man... Very Happy Wink


Khot1 cheers
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Thu 25 Feb 2010, 13:15

Laughing Well, I think it doesn't matter the order, the most important are the "chemical reactions" between them Smile
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Fri 26 Feb 2010, 21:08

Quote :
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!
Laughing
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Fri 26 Feb 2010, 21:15

And...because the blonde not be angry... Very Happy
Quote :
A Russian, an American, and a Brunette were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Brunette said, "So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Brunette replied, "We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!"
cheers Very Happy
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Sat 27 Feb 2010, 15:42

Hehehe... Cool... Laughing Laughing Laughing
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Wed 03 Mar 2010, 19:38

A little smile can soothe the soul... Smile
Quote :
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Smile sunny
Back to top Go down
Khot1
Diamond 2
Diamond 2
Khot1

Posts : 1365
Join date : 2009-10-08
Age : 32
Location : Campina, Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Wed 03 Mar 2010, 20:47

Oh my GOD... I'd kill that blond if that were my Ferrari !!! Very Happy affraid affraid Very Happy

Nice joke... bounce
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Wed 03 Mar 2010, 20:53

OOO don't be bad tongue Laughing
Thanks! Very Happy sunny
Back to top Go down
adu1010
Grand Master Supreme
Grand Master Supreme
adu1010

Posts : 10411
Join date : 2009-10-09
Age : 49
Location : Constanta , Roumania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Wed 03 Mar 2010, 20:55

Very good joke Roxana . Very Happy Laughing


Adrian
bounce
Back to top Go down
ROXX
Platinum 2
Platinum 2
ROXX

Posts : 636
Join date : 2009-10-10
Age : 33
Location : Romania

Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1Wed 03 Mar 2010, 20:57

Thank you, Adu! Very Happy
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




Littles jokes - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Littles jokes   Littles jokes - Page 7 Icon_minitime1

Back to top Go down
 
Littles jokes
Back to top 
Page 7 of 13Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 6, 7, 8 ... 11, 12, 13  Next

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
EnPrizee :: Offtopic :: Free Talking-
Jump to: