Littles jokes

Hey, Puce...

How have you been ??? Long time no talk. You should really come and visit more often.

We missed you, you know...

Hi, Sarah, sure we missed you very much
I tried to be competent here, with jokes

A smile for today:

Quote :

Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.

Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'

Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'

The heat comes from a smile

Quote :

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

Smile because tomorrow...you'll smile even more

Quote :

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

I smile though I haven't a reason ...so you can do it

Quote :

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...

Very funny this jokes Roxana , congratulations !!!


Adrian

Thank you, Adu! And a little smile for today :

Quote :

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

A smile for today

Quote :

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

Have a good thinking

A little smile for good friends

Quote :

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of her car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explains,"I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit!?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says...

Hair Spray — Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave.

Good joke as always!

Thanks, Robs!

"People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile." ~Lee Mildon

Quote :

The reception had ended and the newlyweds had just sneaked off to the honeymoon. After supper and champagne, the groom retired to the bedroom. But the bride pulled a chair up to the balcony doors and sat there, gazing at the stars.
"Dear." Asked the somewhat impatient husband, "Aren t you coming to bed?"
"No," she announced. "My mother told me this was going to be the most beautiful night of my life, and I don t want to miss a single minute of it.

" Start every day with a smile and get it over with. " ~W.C. Fields

Quote :

English Lesson

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

Quote :

Two friends are discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," one friend says.

"How so?" his friend asks.

"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks.

"No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two years ago I deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."

"Was that not love?"

"No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere I followed her on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks.

"No," he replies. "That was motion sickness."

Is difficult with feelings, especially when we think they exist...
" A smile is something you can't give away; it always comes back to you. "

"To believe in nothing is not believing at all, but betraying all that you stand for" ~ From Me !!!


Good jokes Roxana...

"“When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself.”
It seems common , but it's true and simple.

Quote :

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."

"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted!

Don't worry, I'm also blonde!

Another very good joke Roxana . Congratulations !!


Adrian

Thanks, Adu! I love the people who know to smile!

Great jokes Roxana...

Oh, and I made a little post about how I usually listen to music at home...
You should check it out !!!

Oh my God !!! That really happened ???

And blond girls wonder why there are so many jokes made about them...

Neah, I kid the women with blond hair !!!

Heheeeheee You kid?

Have a good day, with or without a blonde!